Guidelines for parents
When jealousy appears, behind there is the fear of losing the love and time that the older brother has with his parents. It can start when the little brother has not yet arrived or when he has already been born. That is why it is very important to prepare them for the arrival of the new member of the family, without experiencing the feeling of being “dethroned.”
How do we know if there is jealousy?
- Bad behavior and calls for attention.
- Increased tantrums for no reason.
- Lack of attention to the rules – “Ignore”
- Imitate behaviors from when he was younger or the brother / sister.
- Sleep / appetite disturbances.
- Rejection of the mother / father.
- Low self-esteem.
What should we do?
- Understand that jealousy is a normal process.
- Teach him to share.
- Involve the older brother in the process, without giving him mandatory responsibilities.
- Remind him that he can play with him or with her and teach him things.
- Do not create false expectations.
- Insist that he / she will continue to have parents.
- Place him in his role as a brother. Give him/her independence and greater autonomy.
- Do not compare, nor establish rewards or “punishments” equally.
- Establish individualized attention to each one of them. Have “alone time.”
- Mark spaces for each of them. Each one has their special place even if they share a room.
We also recommend some useful books (in Spanish) to prepare them:
- The king of the house – Marta Alonso.
- Inside Our Mom – Jo Witek and Christine Rousse
- One more – Olalla González.
ESPAI TAU KIDS TEAM